Like Everyone Else
by BelleMarie
Summary: Based on Kay's novel. A missing moment describing the real reason Erik fled the Gypsy camp with the intention to poison himself. And my firstever FanFic to boot! w00t


_**A/N:** This "missing moment" story, based on Kay, takes place at the end of Erik's time with the Roma, just before Erik nearly poisons himself. It occurs between "All I wanted was to be like everyone else," and "While the wedding celebrations were at their height…" The story is told from the point of view of Valentina, a Romany girl.

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The fair at Verdu is always a joyous time, and this year it was especially so. Seven weddings, including those of my two older female cousins and my oldest brother, were being celebrated this year, and the music, dancing and feasting continued nonstop. My dancing had become well known in camp and throughout each area we traveled over the past few years, so I was requested at every celebratory campfire to contribute to the festivities. I didn't mind this at all, as the dance was my one true passion in life, although I was beginning to find some of the looks that the men gave me as I danced rather distasteful, now that I was beginning to bloom into full womanhood. At least I was sure to fetch a good bride-price, when the time came.

On the third evening of the fair, I took my place by the fire and began to dance to the wild rhythms of the fiddles and drums. As I danced, I took some time to observe the camp around me. So many faces crowded around the fire – young and old, husbands and wives, friends, relatives, strangers. All smiling, laughing, enjoying themselves… and yet… they did not completely surround the fire. No, as tightly packed as they were, they only ventured about two-thirds of the way around, leaving a void around the other third of the fire. And in the middle of that emptiness reclined one solitary figure – Erik.

The rest of camp feared Erik. I saw no reason to. He was still only a boy – certainly a few years younger than I. And while he had the face of a corpse, a face so horrific to gaze upon that Javert had made a fortune by collecting payment to do so, was he not still a person, like everyone else? It was true that he seemed to have mystical powers, but I had _never_ seen him use them to hurt anyone. In fact, was it not Erik's medicine that saved the lives of the wisewoman and three children, when everyone else who had caught the fever died? Was Erik not the only one who'd tried to help in that time of misery? No, I couldn't believe that this boy was the devil's apprentice.

As I swirled about the fire, I watched the other dancers. Curiously, Dunicha was absent from the festivities. There was something going on with that girl… I had noticed increasingly that she went absent at times she should not. It would not surprise me at all if she were meeting a lover in secret– Dunicha had always been willful. _She had better take care that she is not caught!_

My attention turned back to the girls who danced by the fire with me. They were a whirlwind of colored skirts and shawls, jingling coins and bells – a beautiful sight. I realized that they, too, only surrounded about two thirds of the fire. No one danced for Erik.

As I thought about the strange boy who had come to live among us, but had never become a part of us, I grew angry. Javert was a pig, and I knew he had taken the boy by force and locked him in a cage. In time, Erik had negotiated his release from the cage with his extraordinary talents, but the crack of Javert's whip could be heard inside Erik's tent at least once a week. And, worse than that, Javert constantly found new ways to humiliate him.

Not that the true Roma of our tribe were much better! How awful it must be for a boy to be always alone, always feared! He had not a single friend. His name was used as a threat. Children and adults alike fled his company. And yet, as I saw him sitting alone in the darkness, I could see that all of my instincts were right… he was just a boy!

Almost without thought, I found myself moving around the fire in his direction. I would not show him that same cruelty! I did not fear Erik – and I would not see him treated like an animal or a devil any longer! If no one else would be his friend, _I _would be his friend! If no one else would dance for him, _I _would dance for him! If he seemed to be a monster to us, then it was only because we had made him seem so, and I could take no further part in it!

As I broke away from the other dancers, moving towards the center of the void, I saw Erik's eyes meet mine. As I came closer, the fire showed me the expression in them was shocked… perhaps a little fearful. Did he think I meant him some sort of harm? Poor boy, he was so seldom approached by anyone, and when he was, it was never a pleasant exchange. No wonder I should make him nervous. This only strengthened my resolve; I was determined to include him in our celebration that night.

Finally, I stopped directly in front of Erik, and danced there just for him. Only about ten feet separated us. The bright flames illuminated both his white mask and those mysterious eyes underneath. I felt the fire's heat on my back as I undulated in front of him, and saw his eyes soften from shock and suspicion into appreciative awe. It was not the ugly, lustful leer that most men gave me, but the look of someone overwhelmed by beauty. I felt like a princess, dancing for him! He understood the beauty of the dance – I could see it in those eyes. If only other men knew how to _appreciate _as Erik did!

As our eyes met, I felt… a sort of kinship with him. As if he could see all that laid within my heart. I knew then, at that very moment, that we would grow to be close friends. I danced my best for him… for if anyone was worthy of seeing my most beautiful expression of the music, Erik was! He felt! He understood! I saw his eyes tremble, and felt that we both might cry…

And then I heard the whispers. We both heard it. Quiet mutters of "Valentina" and "_Beng_" spreading throughout the crowd. Damn them! Damn them _and _their superstition! I began to fear what would become of my bravery. I worked some spins into my dance, so I could assess the situation.

They were _staring_ at us.

I turned back around to meet Erik's gaze, unsure of what to do next. Quickly, I saw his eyes harden… from that unbelievable look of awe to the coldest glare of despair and hatred I have ever seen. That glare made me stop moving, finally, and sent a violent shudder through my body. Erik – half crawling, half standing, backed away from me, not breaking that reproachful glare until he turned his back and ran.

I realized the harm that I had done. I had meant to bring him companionship, but he thought I was there to mock him – to humiliate him, just as all the others had done. As my head sank in shame, Papusza was suddenly at my side, pulling me away from the fire, into the dark.

"Valentina! What were you doing? Anger Erik and he will drag you off into the forest, and you'll never be seen again!"

"Hush with that foolishness, Papusza! I won't hear it! Can you really believe such ridiculous tales?"

"But, Valentina, everyone knows…"

"I don't want to speak anymore of what everyone _knows!_" I cried. I hadn't the strength to argue with her now. That would come later. That would be part of how I would begin to heal my already bruised friendship with Erik. But notr now – I felt spent and useless after the intensity I had just experienced.

I gazed again around the fire. Now that the "threat" of Erik had slipped off into the night, everyone was concerned again with themselves. I knew that there would be plenty of gossip and mockery to come. It was likely that I would become an outcast as well. None of that mattered to me. I looked regretfully at the emptiness into which Erik had disappeared, and resigned myself to wait until daylight, when I would approach him and attempt to explain myself. I knew it would take me some time to prove myself to him – to overcome his suspicions – but I sensed that his friendship would be well worth the price I would have to pay for it.

_Take care, Erik… _I thought as my eyes scoured the darkness._ Tomorrow I shall prove to be the friend you deserve…_


End file.
